


The Adventures of Captain Vela

by haledamage



Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: Gen, Silly, imaginary pirates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-15 17:14:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18674002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haledamage/pseuds/haledamage
Summary: While the Watcher is away on business, a new captain takes over The Defiant. The Deadfire won't know what hits it.





	The Adventures of Captain Vela

**Author's Note:**

> this is the fluffiest thing I've ever written ever. based heavily on the pirate adventures of my own daughter who isn't much younger than Vela
> 
> shanty is "Saucy Sailor" by The Wailin' Jennys

"Weigh anchor!"

"Aye aye, Captain!"

"Hoist the mainsail!"

"Aye aye, Captain!"

Captain Vela stood on the bow of _The Defiant_. The warm ocean breeze blew through her fur and ruffled the tall blue feather in her wide-brimmed hat. She scanned the horizon; it was calm seas as far as the eye could see.

It was a good day to sail.

"Boatswain!" Captain Vela called behind her.

"Aye, Cap," Serafen grinned ferally.

"Bring me that horizon."

A cheer went up through the crew as the wind caught the sail and they answered the call of the open ocean.

The crew started to sing as they worked, their words filling the air around her.

_If I am ragged love and I'm dirty love_  
_And me clothes smell much of tar_  
_I have silver in me pocket love_  
_And gold in great store_

Water splashed across the prow and onto the deck as The Defiant cut through the current. It hit Captain Vela as a gentle mist, settling in her eyelashes and the fur on her ears like dew.

_I am frolicsome and I am easy_  
_Good tempered and free_  
_And I don't give a single pin me boys_  
_What the world thinks of me_

"Ahoy, Captain!" First Mate Xoti called from the crow's nest. "Pirates off the starboard bow! Gaun help us, they mean to board us!"

Two large men climbed onto the deck. One had an eyepatch and a tricorn hat and a pipe clenched in his teeth. The other… was a ten foot tall shark with legs.

"Yar, I am the Dread Pirate Edér! We'll be, uh… comandeerin' your ship and takin' your crew!" He drew his sword and brandished it at Captain Vela. "Time to send ye down to Ondra's locker, Cap'n Vela!"

Captain Vela drew her own cutlass. "You picked the wrong boat, ye bilgerat! All hands to arms! _Dead men tell no tales!_ "

"Now come on, Vela, who taught you that," Edér reprimanded gently, hand on his hip.

" _Edér_!" Vela whined, looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes. "You're supposed to be a _pirate_!"

"Right, sorry." He held his sword up again. "Avast ye!"

They fought, swords clashing loudly, but Captain Vela was the superior swordswoman. She disarmed the Dread Pirate Edér and his sword slid across the deck and out of reach. He fell to his knees in surrender.

"Any last words?" Captain Vela said, her sword at the Dread Pirate's heart.

"It was an honor to lose to you, Cap'n Vela. I've never seen a better fighter."

Then she ran him through and he fell to the deck with a long groan. Captain Vela turned her attention to the shark man. He was carrying her helmsman over his shoulder, red hair flowing like blood on the ocean breeze.

“Unhand him, fiend!” Captain Vela pointed her sword at the shark.

“ _Fiend_! Ekera, you wound me, Captain,” said the shark, snapping his many teeth at her.

Captain Vela grinned triumphantly. “I’m about to.” She stabbed at him and he dropped Rekke with a pained cry.

“I am saved, Captain!” called Helmsman Rekke, laughing with relief and definitely not because he found this situation funny because they were _serious pirates_. “I owe you my life!”

“Spare me, Captain Vela!” said the shark man, turning back into the handsome Buccaneer Tekēhu. “Let me join your crew!”

Captain Vela considered this, tapping a clawed finger on her chin. “Very well. I am a gracious leader, I will let you keep your life. Welcome aboard, Teku!”

“And glad I am to be aboard, I say!” He stood and she put her sword away. “Onto the next adventure?”

“Permission to come aboard, Captain?” called a voice from the dock. A beautiful elven woman waved at them. She had long red hair and a big hat just like Captain Vela’s.

“Permission granted!” she hugged the woman as soon as she got close enough “Hi Mama.”

Kai lifted Vela into a big, spinning hug. “Hello, my darling. Conquering the Deadfire, I see. Who taught you to use a sword like that?”

“Iselmyr.” Vela grinned. “She also taught me some pirate words!”

“Did she. I see.”

Iselmyr pressed a kiss to Kai’s temple, then another to the top of Vela’s fluffy hair. “Guid ones ainlie, Kiki. Ah ken better than tae corrupt yer bairn.” Aloth added, sourly, “I’m afraid you’ll have to blame the rest on Serafen.”

A look passed between Kai and Serafen, but Vela couldn’t read it. It made Mama’s eyes glow purple. Then Kai turned back to Vela with an adoring smile. “Well, Captain, let’s see what the Deadfire has waiting for us, shall we? You have the hat, so you give the order.”

Captain Vela jumped out of her mother’s arms. “Weigh anchor!”

“Aye aye, Captain!”


End file.
